AJ – a lesson in adaptive thinking and family support

If you’ve never had or lived with a child with ADHD or ADD, you’re entitled to be skeptical and blame bad parenting. But, if you’ve got one, then maybe you’ll get a chuckle out of dad’s efforts to help AJ find his place in life and also some food for thought from mum’s contribution.

AJ had all the classic symptoms - fidgety, poor listener, couldn't sit still, easily distracted, disruptive, never finished anything and as you'd expect was driving his parents insane. He came from a great home, very involved parents and their other two kids were quite “normal”. We tried some behavioural tactics such as strict rules, regular routines, rehearsing desired behaviours and using water and music and trampoline to soothe his system. Then we checked food intolerances and found that AJ had several but red colouring was his worst. Still his parents felt like the greatest failures in parentdom. Then we organized a trial on a psycho stimulant medication and that worked wonders.

AJ became a different boy, improved in behavior and schoolwork and in self-esteem but football was the only exercise he yearned so dad sponsored the footy team and that way got him in as a fumbly forward. When he was on his medication, AJ was very measured but had no flair. When they took him off his medication at weekends, as many parents do, then he was back to his old active self and actually ran, chased, tackled and played much better. The coach also noticed the difference and even more so when AJ added a red toffee apple to his pregame preparation so he put the whole team on red cordial at halftime and they cleaned up the comp. True story.

Mum felt a bit excluded from this boy’s club but she was a great mum and brought me in this author unknown poem which she asked me to share with other families trying to cope with a child like AJ.

Have you ever seen the turmoil a single child can cause?

From sunrise until sunset, he can go without a pause.

He drives his parents crazy, his teachers up a tree,

But he can’t really help this, ‘cause he has A.D.D.

Some doctors and some friends of mine, some teachers - so I’m told,

Who don’t know what A.D.D.is, and think the child is bold!

They talk about his parents, and say they are to blame

But his parents have other children, who just are not the same.

The child who is so loving, so trusting and so kind,

But people who don’t understand - they say I must be blind.

And when I try explaining, they tell me to “get real”,

Not thinking for one moment, just how this child must feel!

This child has constant turmoil going ‘round inside his brain,

He looks at other children and knows he’s not the same.

And it’s up to us, as people, at school as well as home,

To make sure that this friendless child does not feel all alone.

The moral of this story, and I’m sure you’ll all agree,

Is, remember but for the grace of God, this could be you or me!

I’m not sure who deserves the Humble Heroes award  - AJ for defying labels, dad for hands on support or mum for everything else to help AJ believe in himself – I’ve decided to give the Humble Heroes award this time to the whole family! Well done team!