Mark: A lesson in being sensitive

You may not have had this experience but Mark made a big impact on me and influenced my practice enormously, but for the wrong reason and certainly not what Mark intended.

Many times over the years I’ve felt for those on the receiving end of medical advice. In fact I know of a few surgeons who have changed their practice after being in the position of the “patient”!

I suppose as we get older we all become more accustomed to being on the receiving end of medical attention, and to the ignominy and humiliation that too many waiting rooms offer, but this story is different. It’s included in the hope that anyone reading this who may be in a medical or health position of power or influence will not make this mistake.

Several years ago when I was doing a lot of clinic work and TV, I was also doing one day per week as the consultant psychologist at a local private school. I got to know many of the parents there including my friend Mark, who was a specialist gastrologist. So when I had been diagnosed with a medical condition requiring a colonoscopy, of course I go to the best in town, my friend Mark.

As you know, these procedures are just done in day surgery and I was booked in first. I was out of the theatre and back in the day surgery recovery ward by 11 am and feeling fine.

Other patients were wheeled in until the room was fairly full of patients in varying stages of recovery.

In the afternoon, after all procedures were complete, in comes Mark, - still in his operating garb, accompanied by a nurse with her clip board of patient notes.

Although I had been “done” first, Mark deliberately avoided eye contact or coming anywhere near my bed as he went around, - mostly with good news and a few he asked to see him in a fortnight in his rooms.

So I waited and became increasingly anxious and frightened as to what my diagnosis and prognosis would be.

Eventually, with everyone else dealt with and many dressed and moved out, Mark came to me.

At that point Mark turned to the nurse, told her she could go now and drew those blue curtains around my bed.

This was it I thought, the fickle finger of fate was pointed my way. Mark came up to the bedside and in a subdued voice said, “John, I didn’t want to say anything in front of all the people here, but wearing my other hat, - as parent representative for the school, I was wondering if you could come and talk to parents - on handling teenagers preparing for the final exams – there are a lot of anxious parents who need help! Oh, by the way, the colonoscopy was fine, just took off a couple of polyps but everything looks good”.

I could have killed him on the spot, but the reality was I was so relieved, all I could do was shout loud enough for anyone outside the curtain to wonder about the propriety of it all, ”Yes, Mark, yes, I’ll do anything you want, any time any place!” Mark moved on in his moon boots but with a lift n his stride and a decided grin on his face.

I can promise you, from that point on, I have always been so super conscious of the client’s fears and expectations and, the incredible power imbalance between doctor and patient. Mark has retired now. I still see him occasionally out sailing in his yacht. And the name of his yacht, the “Windjammer”!!