Matthew: A lesson in listening

G’day. I don’t know who’s the humble hero in this story, probably mum, but let me set the scene.

This family used to come up and see me about the problem with son Matthew, he just wouldn’t listen.

He was only 5 but he had to be told a dozen times to do something by mum before he cooperated and then it was only after she screamed “Matthew do as you’re told” so loudly that dad would go dotty in his den. You see, dad was an older than average dad, a retired army major in fact who had remarried to a much younger lady and now ran a consultancy from his home office.

However the fact that he had to listen to it all while his son blissfully blocked out mum’s “Matthews” was more than the major could manage. Of course there was the alternative that he back mum up with a bit of firm love but bringing up the kids was not men’s work.

Meanwhile pencils were snapping in his office as the major became more and more flustered by this five year old’s insubordination, as he called it.

Home habits are hard to break but everyone was unhappy with how it was, so they each agreed to change one horrible habit. Matthew’s was having to be asked so many times, mum’s was telling him more than once and dad’s was to back mum up rather than back out.

So they used a chart to record every time Matthew heard mum the first time she called. Mum deliberately let him miss out on a few things when he didn’t listen first time and dad’s job was to give Matthew some listening practice at TV time if mum’s behaviour practice list on the fridge listed listening as a problem for the day.

It started to work well but as dad started to take a bit more interest in his little listening lout, he noticed that he never missed a whisper and never missed hearing the word ice cream no matter where he was in the house. So in an effort to expedite the progress, dad started calling him ICE CREAM, “excuse me, ice cream, can you come for dinner now”. Young Matthew was furious, “don’t call me that” he moaned, “my name is Matthew”.

On this they both agreed and Matthew overnight became a better listener. Lovely story, shows it is possible to change home habits, but there is a sting. A tearful Matthew told mum at bedtime one evening that dad never listened to him! – always too busy in his den. Tracey thought about it and came up with a secret plan to help out.

Anytime Matthew couldn’t get the major’s attention he called out Johnny Walker, and apparently got dad’s attention every time. The major was not amused.

Matthew’s come-back does remind me of the story about the bright little fella much the same age. Every time he went to nanna’s he was always pestering her for lollies. Grandad, very much like the retired major, used to fume at his persistence. He couldn’t stand the never ending  “nanna, got any lollies, got any lollies?” over and over. Each time nanna said "no" but young Luca didn't listen and kept on and on. Eventually a fed up grandfather slammed down his paper and said if Luca asked one more time, the major would have his mouth taped up. Luca went quiet and then piped up, “grandpa, have you got any tape, got any tape?” Grandpa threw his paper down and screamed out  “NO, we haven’t got any tape!!” Again there was a pause and then this quiet voice piped up “Nanna have you got any lollies, got any lollies!”

To all the parents and grandparents putting up with parent deaf kids, today you get my Humble Heroes award for sheer patience.