Natasha: A lesson in the dangers of normal

G’day – This story is all about being “normal” and how dangerous that word can be if we start comparing ourselves or our kids to anybody!

For instance, we all want “normal” kids but leave ourselves open to so much anxiety by doing just that.

I recall one case where I was assessing a young girl on the Denver Developmental Scale. I simply asked mum whether young Brianna could hop on one foot yet. Mum said “no, should she be? And went home and did non-stop practice of one foot hopping for the next four weeks. ” Poor kid.  

Children vary so much – not only in looks but also in their milestones – when they walk, or talk, or teethe, how they cuddle, how much they cry, how they sleep, when they finally sleep through the night, how much they laugh, how much they engage your eyes, how much they drink, and of course in their bowel habits.

After an ABC radio session recently I got this email from Natasha. It reads

“I have a six month old baby, she seems to be doing well and seems happy but she only empties her bowels once every two days - my friend’s daughter goes at least three times a day. Someone said my daughter had a lazy bowel, what does that mean and what do I do about it?”

Natasha, if you’re listening or reading the Humble Heroes scripts on our website, then I need to tell you that kids’ bowel habits vary as much as they do in their personality. You say your daughter’s happy so I’d bet she’s doing fine and that pattern is just hers, or maybe could have even been yours or her father’s years ago. Dr Chris Green in his book “Babies” reminds us that normal for six month olds varies between six times a day and once every three days.

So don’t get poo paranoid, just drop in to your local clinic or early childhood health centre and ask one of the nurses there for reassurance. But if her stools are hard or hard to pass then you may think about increasing her fluid intake, include a bit more fruit fibre or if you’d prefer, give her some fruit juice. If that’s not loosening them up then ask your doctor about some mild laxative. Every chemist, clinic sister or GP is well versed in easy answers because they’ve been asked so many times.

Natasha, if you’ve got a good parent group then chat to a few of them about their kids’ idiosyncrasies – you’ll be amazed at how much discussion it generates and how relieved you all will be.

One thing is for sure, we can’t afford to overlook the wonderful because we’re so worry-ful.

One grandparent sent me this little activity just to remind us to enjoy our kids for the few short years we have them.

Dip your baby’s hand in a saucer of watercolour paint, make a hand print on the front cover of a blank card and inside write this poem:

Sometimes you get discouraged because I am so small,

and always leave my fingerprints on furniture and wall.

But everyday I'm growing, I'll be grown up some day

and all those tiny handprint will surely fade away.

So here's a final handprint just so you can recall

exactly how my fingers looked when i was very small".

Old handprints may fade but heart prints, never!