Step dad steps up: A lesson in putting in hard yards for those you love

                                                                Step dad steps up

J – have you ever done something very demanding for someone and never got any thanks?

G’day – sometimes we do so many hard yards but it’s never appreciated.

Alan is a man I’ll never forget.

He will never get an OA or OAM or any medal, too busy looking after Peter - but what a job he’s done.

Alan was a knock-about sort of character and a plasterer by trade.

He met Trixie who was a single mum with a young son, Peter. They had both lived most of their life in country NSW.

I’ve never met Trixie, - by the time I caught up with Alan, - Trixie had found another man and they had gone off to live in Tasmania - to set up a diet delivery service.

Trixie passed Peter across to Alan as she left and said - “you love him so much, he’s yours” and left immediately - leaving Alan with the boy and the bills.

When I caught up with Alan, Peter was about 6 - but Alan’s problem was that Trixie now wanted Peter back, and, was prepared to take it to court to get her way.

Alan was not going to let Peter go lightly – Peter hardly knew his mother, - had had no contact since she left - and they didn’t have a strong bond in the first place apparently.

Although Alan had very little legal clout because, after all, - he was not blood related, - he had the backing of the school and he had my backing - I could see what a healthy loving bond the two had.

Alan was being encouraged to stay strong by his new partner - who could also see they were like peas in a pod.

We put in reports and his barrister took it on.

Apparently both before and since leaving Peter, Trixie had serious mental health issues which presented - as very volatile and unstable relationships.

After a two year battle, Alan actually won custody and he brought Peter in, -not just to thank me, - but to get some directions for high school. My rooms were on the second floor of a four storey building.

After they left I looked out the window and there they were heading for the car park, - Pete still happy to hold Alan’s hand and jump along the path avoiding the cracks.

I tell you I had a very large lump in my throat and my eyes would not stop watering up. What a great outcome and I wonder what the cost.

Alan is still a plasterer but his much taller apprentice is none other than Peter, - still with the same Cheshire cat grin and dreamy eyes. They’re going well - but I wonder how many nights would Alan have turned in bed after Trixie left - wondering how to handle this convoluted mess he was in.

I salute you, Alan, - and all those parents, steep-parents, grandparents and foster carers who, - for the sake of kids, put themselves in harms’ way  - love does win through, sooner or later, one way or another.