Steve Biddulph: A lesson in the importance of dads

G’day. I’m a great fan of Steve Biddulph., famous author of “Raising Boys”, “Manhood” Secrets of Happy Children” etc. We often lectured together and some years ago I received a personal email from him concerning his research on the role of dads in kids’ lives. He says “children with fathers living at home...

Get better results at school and more likely go to university

Are less likely to get into trouble at school

Are better at mathematics and reading

Have higher levels of compassion and empathy and self-esteem

Are less likely to be violent or victims of violence

Are less likely to be victims of sexual abuse or assault

Are less likely to get in trouble with the law

Are less likely to commit suicide or get involved with drugs

Are less likely to get pregnant, or get someone pregnant, during their teens

Are more likely to have happy marriages and be good parents themselves.

Now that can’t always happen but to any dads out there – separated or not, re-partnered or not, angry or not, just be aware that your role in kids’ lives is so pervasive.

Steve concludes “the more involved with his children a father can be, the more these benefits grow. Even a divorced or separated father can keep the positive benefits if he stays involved. Kids need dads, it’s as simple as that”.

And it’s not just for the benefit of the kids either. Did you read those University of NSW statistics a while back that executives are doing serious damage to their health and family life with the demands of the job for longer and longer hours, with more and more unpaid overtime. And what is the goal - to climb the corporate ladder for more and more money to achieve more and more what?

The University of NSW statistics remind me of the story of the holidaying Sydney executive up on the coast after the lock-down lift – he was strolling along Patonga Beach and caught up with a local laid back fisherman – who told the Exec that he fished enough on his trawler to keep the family happily fed and, with the rest of his time…, he just read, played with the kids, sat out on his verandah with his partner and soaked up the sun.

“Look”, said the executive, “I know there’s money in this game, if you worked longer you’d soon be able to buy a fleet of boats, have people work for you, move to the city and start exporting. And after 20 years hard work you could retire up here for life!”

“And then do what?” said the fisherman. “My kids will have grown up and gone, probably wouldn’t want to know me and all I’d have is a big empty house to show off to who?”

Funny, even to this day, we think of mothering as a

lifetime job but still think of fathering as a 10 second job. To all the dads and mums out there doing their best, today you’re my Humble Heroes.